Put on TO DO list: Waste time

Why do I always feel like I need to accomplish something every moment of the day? If I sit down for a few minutes with the good intentions of reading a book, which I love to do, I read for about ten minutes before feeling guilty of relaxing. Something in my personality or lifestyle makes me think that I have to jump up, empty the dishwasher, put a load of laundry in, or wipe the kitchen counters. I'm not a neat freak, but I do like things to be in order. I have found I can't stop and smell the proverbial roses.

I am not able to "do nothing". I can try and try to "do nothing" and I still do something. Even if I physically don't get up and move, my mind is still concocting mental "to do" lists of things I need to do tomorrow and the next day. I think part of my problem is that I have become such a supreme multi-tasker, that I can't stop. I consider doing two, three, or four things at once to be the norm.

I recently read a quote by Bertrand Russell (1872-1970 philospher and mathematician). He said, "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." Wow, this struck me as profound. I cut it out and posted it in large type on the wall in my home office. I think this was a sign sent to me from above. I find myself looking at that quote more and more often, as if I will finally believe it if I read it and force it into my mind, like a mantra.

Maybe it is ok to waste time, I tell myself. Maybe sitting and pondering life and looking at the sunset over the mountains is something I can do without fidgeting.

While everyone in the world tries to be more and more productive, each day I am going to try to waste some time. It will be good for me. I'll let you know how it goes.